Recipe: Arugula, Watermelon + Feta Salad (Gluten-Free + Vegetarian)

I suppose it’s the summertime effect, but super simple recipes are prevailing on Bummed Out Baker right now. Enjoy!

Listen to this while you make the salad and, like me, ponder why this guy is stealing bikes when he appears to be old enough to drive.

Ingredients

1/4 c orange juice
1/4 c freshly squeezed lemon juice (about one large lemon)
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 small white onion, minced
1 T honey
1/2 c olive oil
1 t sea salt
1/2 t freshly ground black pepper
6 c baby arugula
1/2 small seedless watermelon, cut in 1″ cubes with rind removed
8 oz feta cheese, diced into 1/2″ cubes
1 c fresh mint leaves, chopped

Instructions

  1. In a large jar, combine orange juice, lemon juice, garlic, onion, honey, sea salt, pepper, and olive oil. Screw on lid and shake dressing until well combined.
  2. In a large salad bowl, gently toss together the arugula, watermelon, feta, and mint.
  3. Pour dressing over salad to your liking and toss. Serve immediately.
Any unused vinaigrette can be stored in the jar and kept in the refrigerator for 2-3 days.

Serves two as a main, four as a side.

Bummed Out Baker Rating: 9/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: 9/10

Adapted from Arugula, Watermelon and Feta Salad.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Greek Quinoa Salad
Scrambled Eggs with Parmesan and Arugula
Spiced Cauliflower with Feta


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If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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Recipe: Jalepeño Cream Cheese Enchiladas (Vegetarian)

Alright, those of you who’ve been around a while know I put on for enchiladas, hard. They’re my favorite food and, while I try to mostly eat healthy, when I don’t, I really don’t, if you nom sayin’.

This dish is vegetarian garbage. Delicious, vegetarian garbage that perhaps should only be eaten sparingly but, who cares. Live your enchilada truth.

Ingredients

~10 oz meatless “chicken” of choice (I used gardein)
1/2 t sea salt
1/2 t freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 t cayenne pepper
1 T + 1/2 t garlic powder
2 T butter
1 large onion, diced
2 jalapeño peppers, seeded and minced
8 oz cream cheese
1/2 t paprika
1/2 t chili powder
1/2 t ground cumin
~28 oz green enchilada sauce (homemade or canned)
~6 flour tortillas
~8 oz shredded Monterey Jack cheese
diced avocado or cilantro (optional)

while the innovation is certainly getting better, fake meat is typically junk

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. Prepare meatless “chicken” according to package, seasoning with sea salt, black pepper, 1 t of the cayenne pepper, and 1/2 t of the garlic powder. Set aside to cool for a moment.
  3. Over medium, heat butter in a deep skillet. Add onion and jalapeños and sauté until translucent, about five minutes.
  4. Meanwhile, dice “chicken”.
  5. Add cream cheese to onion mixture and use a spatula to break into chunks, allowing it to melt and soften.
  6. Stir in remaining garlic powder (1/2 t) and cayenne pepper (1/2 t), paprika, chili powder, and cumin.
  7. Stir in “chicken” and remove mixture from heat.
  8. Pour half the enchilada sauce into the bottom of a 9 x 13″ baking dish (or something of similar size).
  9. Place tortilla stack on a work surface next to the “chicken” mixture. Using a ~1/3 c measuring cup, scoop mixture onto each tortilla, creating an approximate line down the center. This does not have to be perfect, so relax and enjoy yaself. Sprinkle about 1 T of Monterey Jack cheese on top of the mixture inside of each tortilla before rolling it up and placing in baking dish, seam down. If your tortillas misbehave, go rogue, and pop open in the dish, again, don’t worry. Just rearrange it and rest assured that as you fill the dish the tortillas will begin to stay in place.
  10. Once dish is full, top with any remaining enchilada innards, pour remaining sauce over enchiladas, and then sprinkle with remaining Monterey Jack cheese.
  11. Bake 30 minutes.
  12. Remove dish and apologize to the oven for having melted cheese and enchilada sauce all over bottom of it. (More about apologizing to inanimate objects here.) Then apologize to the in-laws you live with for dirtying up their oven, if applicable.
  13. Let the enchiladas cool a moment so you don’t burn the crap out of your mouth, but serve them warm.
  14. If desired, top with avocado or a sprig of cilantro as garnish.

Enchiladas are a dang mess and really hard to make look pretty / photograph, so I added some diced avocado as a visual diversion. EVERYONE WILL BE TOO DISTRACTED BY THE GARNISH TO NOTICE THE MESS THAT TRULY LIES BENEATH, which is also a rich metaphor for my life.

Serves four.

Bummed Out Baker Honest Rating: 7/10

Adapted from Jalepeño Cream Cheese Chicken Enchiladas.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Black Bean and Potato Enchiladas
Enchilada Soup


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Parmesan Garlic Orzo (Vegetarian + Gluten-Free)

Orzo is my favorite pasta. I learned that today after looking for it in the grain section at the grocery store… where I found out it’s a grain-shaped pasta! Of course this means that traditional orzo is made with wheat, but I found a highly rated gluten-free option here.

This recipe is fast and delicious to even the most selective of palates (see: Rick). While I don’t have kids to test recipes on, Rick… kind of… counts in terms of food.

Ingredients

1 c orzo pasta
1/4 c butter (I used organic Earth Balance)
3 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 c Parmesan cheese, shredded
2 T milk (I used organic coconut milk)
2 T fresh parsley, chopped
1/2 t sea salt
1/2 t fresh black pepper, ground

Instructions

  1. In a large pot, bring lightly salted water to boil. Add orzo to boiling water, stirring occasionally until cooked through, about ten minutes. Drain orzo and set aside.
  2. In a skillet, melt butter over medium-low heat. Add garlic and sauté until lightly browned, about 3-4 minutes.
  3. Stir orzo, Parmesan cheese, milk, parsley, sea salt, and pepper into garlic mixture.
  4. If desired, top servings with more fresh grated Parmesan.

I made it and it was eaten immediately. No leftovers for the fridge, folks! Although this would make a really good lunch at work, hot or cold.

Serves two for a main dish, four as a side.

Adapted from Parmesan Garlic Orzo.


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Red Cabbage Salad

Ingredients

1/2 c sugar
4 T grated yellow onion
1/2 t caraway seeds
1 t sea salt
1 head red cabbage, thinly sliced
1/3 c apple cider vinegar
1/3 c olive oil
t t black pepper
1 c crumbled blue cheese
1 c sliced almonds

Instructions

  1. Combine sugar, onion, caraway seeds, and sea salt in a large bowl and let sit for one hour.
  2. Add cabbage to marinade and stir to combine.
  3. Add vinegar, oil, and black pepper and mix well.
  4. Top with blue cheese and almonds.

Adapted from The Best Red Cabbage Salad.


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Recipe: Velvet Cake

Because I love the people who read Bummed Out Baker so much my gift to you this Valentine’s Day is my pièce de résistance. My magnum opus. Ev.ery.thing. I give to you: red velvet cake… without the red.

For my thoughts on food coloring and another fabulous recipe, see my Velvet Crinkle Cookies.

Ingredients

Cake

2 c non-dairy milk
2 t apple cider vinegar
2 1/2 c whole wheat pastry flour
2 c cane sugar
4 T cocoa powder
1 t baking powder
1 t baking soda
1 t sea salt
2/3 c coconut oil
4 t vanilla extract
1/2 t almond extract

Icing

1/2 c organic Earth Balance butter, softened
1/2 c cream cheese
1 t vanilla extract
6-8 c powdered sugar
vegan sprinkles, if desired (I like Fancy Sprinkles – I mean just look at them!)

non-dairy milk + apple cider vinegar
some lumps in your batter = okay

Instructions

Cake

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line bottoms of two round cake pans with parchment paper, then lightly oil them.
  2. Combine milk and vinegar in a medium bowl and let it sit for about five minutes, allowing it to curdle.
  3. In a large bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and sea salt.
  4. Stir sugar into dry ingredients.
  5. Stir coconut oil, vanilla extract, and almond extract into milk mixture, whisking well to combine.
  6. Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients, stirring until ingredients come together. Small lumps (especially of coconut oil) are okay and expected! Be careful not to over mix.
  7. Pour batter evenly into the two cake pans.
  8. Bake 30-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of each cake comes out clean. Keep an eye on them after the thirty minute mark.
  9. Remove pans from oven and allow to cool completely.
  10. Meanwhile, rinse and wipe out large bowl to prepare for icing.

Icing

  1. Whip softened butter until fluffy, about a minute.
  2. Add cream cheese and continue to whip until well-combined.
  3. Stir in vanilla extract.
  4. One to two cups at a time, add powdered sugar to the mixture. After about five cups, stop mixer, taste icing, and adjust to your preference. If too cream cheesy, add more powdered sugar.

I like my icing with just a hint of cream cheese, so I typically use 7-8 cups of powdered sugar.

Since I’m #NotAChef and don’t have sweet icing / sprinkles skills I cut a heart out of a piece of computer paper and then used the outline to poorly guide the heart o sprinkles pictured above. Sprinkles scattered all over the countertop and floor and then I promptly dropped a full bottle seltzer water in the kitchen that exploded everywhere and made everything a wet, rainbow disaster. I screamed and shouted for help and Rick, entranced in Madame Secretary, did not come to my aid. I know Téa Leoni’s super hot but jeez Rick GOOD THING IT WASN’T A REAL EMERGENCY.

Anyway, the cake was fabulous. Rick says I make the best cake in the world and, since he’s leaving me for Téa Leoni, he has no reason to lie about my baking.

Adapted from Vegan Red Velvet Cupcakes Recipe.


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get new recipes emailed to you every Monday – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for beautiful food pics and BTS