Chole Aloo Tikki (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

What’s up everybody it’s me, mister steal-yo-gurl-with-Indian-food.

season’s greetings! (see what I did there)

Ingredients

2 potatoes
1 T sea salt, divided
1 T cornstarch
1 t ground ginger
1 t ground cumin
1 t cayenne
1 T chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 T ground black pepper
3 1/2 T olive oil, divided
1/2 t black peppercorns
2 whole cloves
2 small dried chili peppers, chopped
1 t cumin seeds
2 bay leaves
1 onion, chopped
1/2 T fresh ginger, grated
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 t curry powder
1 t ground turmeric
1 t tomato paste
1 T water
1 tomato, chopped
1 15 oz can garbanzo beans, drained

Instructions

  1. Place potatoes into a large pot, cover with water, and add 1/2 T sea salt. Bring to boil, then reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until tender, about 20 minutes. Drain and peel potatoes. Peels should slide off pretty easily after boiling!
  2. In a bowl, mash together cooked potatoes, cornstarch, ground ginger, cumin, cayenne, cilantro, remaining 1/2 T sea salt, and pepper. Mash together using a fork, masher, or your hands if you’re feeling wild. And particularly clean. Your hands. Your hands should be clean.
  3. Oil (clean) hands and divide potato mixture into four portions. Pat each into a patty about 1/2″ thick.
  4. Heat 1 T oil in a skillet over medium. Fry potato cakes about three minutes on each side. Then, remove them from skillet, set aside, and keep warm.
  5. Grind peppercorns and cloves with a bullet-type blender or mortar and pestle if you got it like that.
  6. Heat remaining 2 T oil in skillet over medium-high. Stir in chili peppers, cumin, and bay leaves. Then, add onion, fresh ginger, and garlic. Stir until onion is golden, about three minutes. Then, add pepper-clove mixture, curry, and turmeric.
  7. Dilute tomato paste in the water and then stir it and the chopped tomato into the skillet. Cook over medium heat until the tomato has softened, about three minutes. Stir in chickpeas and let mixture flavors meld over low heat for ten minutes.
  8. Take bay leaves out and spoon chickpea mixture over the potato cakes. Sprinkle with cilantro leaves and serve.

Serves four.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 6/10 Spicy, which I like, but a little too time-consuming to make IMHO.
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: N/A – Where was that guy?

Adapted from Indian Chole Aloo Tikki.

More on Bummed Out Baker:
Malai Kofta
Thai Curry Vegetables
Moussaka


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Recipe: Sloppy Joes (Vegan)

Come on down to nostalgia town
Where sloppy joes are lots of fun
There’s a healthy way
to make them, yay
So come on, everyone.

Anytime I think of sloppy joes, I think of this fine piece of cinema.

Ingredients

1 c lentils, well rinsed
2 c water
2 T olive oil
1 medium white onion, half minced, half sliced for serving
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 bell pepper, diced
1 pinch sea salt
1 pinch black pepper
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
2 T sugar
1 T vegan-friendly Worcestershire sauce
1 t chili powder
1 t ground cumin
1 pinch paprika
hamburger buns

Instructions

  1. In a sieve, rinse lentils thoroughly. In a medium saucepan, bring water and lentils to a low boil, then reduce heat to simmer and cook, uncovered, for about 18 minutes. Drain and set aside.
  2. Meanwhile, heat a large, deep skillet over medium heat. Once hot, stir together oil, minced half of onion, garlic, bell pepper, sea salt and black pepper.
  3. Sauté mixture for five minutes, stirring frequently, until the peppers and onions are tender and beginning to brown.
  4. Stir in tomato sauce, sugar, Worcestershire, chili powder, cumin, and paprika until combined.
  5. Stir lentils into the mixture until combined.
  6. Stirring occasionally, heat mixture over medium-low heat until warmed through and thick, about five minutes.
  7. Taste and, if needed, adjust with sea salt, sugar, Worcestershire, chili powder, or cumin.
  8. Serve on your favorite buns with sliced onion.

This recipe serves four people but, uh, I ate it all in two days. So, in my case, one. It served one.

To reheat, put on stove over low or medium-low heat, adding a splash of water if the mixture has gotten dried out.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 9/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: N/A/10 …because I ate it all.

Adapted from Vegan Sloppy Joes.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Recipe: Spicy Lentil Tacos (Vegan + Gluten-Free)
Recipe: Mujaddara
Recipe: “Chicken Salad”


To subscribe to Bummed Out Baker and get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the website – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Twitter for sassy tweets and a sprinkle of nonsense.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Baked Mac and Cheese (Vegetarian)

Here lies the easiest recipe I’ve ever posted on Bummed Out Baker.

Alright, people. There are a few ways you can swing this recipe. You either use mac and cheese from a box (vegan or vegetarian) or make your own. I had a bunch of leftover cheese sauce so I threw some cooked macaroni in it, topped it with this incredible crumble, and bam. V easy, v delicious.

I don’t have kids but I suppose this would be a hit with a typical American kid OR at some kind of potluck situation. OR for a Billy Madison watch party on a week night, or something. It’s basically good for anything.

Ingredients

Mac and cheese

Mac and cheese prepared from a box OR cooked macaroni covered in homemade cheese sauce with secret vegetables.

Topping

3 bread slices
2 T organic Earth Balance
1 garlic clove

before

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 400°F.
  2. Make mac and cheese and pour into pie dish.
  3. Add bread, butter, and garlic to blender and blend until crumbs.
  4. Evenly distribute crumbles over the mac and cheese.
  5. Bake for 20 minutes, remove from oven, and serve.
after

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Recipe: Twice-Baked Potato Skins with Cheese Sauce
Recipe: Cauliflower Queso
Recipe: Cashew Ricotta


To subscribe to Bummed Out Baker and get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the website – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Twitter for sassy tweets and a sprinkle of nonsense.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Roasted Artichokes (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

A post about roasted artichokes is comically banal following last week’s heavy hitter regarding mental illness and homelessness as it pertains to my brother, Alex.

I’d just like to say how grateful I am for the support I received in regards to that last post. It took a full, painful week to write and, with my mental illness-informed workday, I was often hammering at the keys and staring at the screen until three or four in the morning. For me, those are the worst hours. It was arduous and awful.

I often feel lonely, mentally, and trapped in my own head. My brain feels helplessly impermeable. I’m stuck inside of it hating myself and others are stuck outside of it wondering how I could feel that way about their friend, Bailey. For me to be successful in getting something so intimate and hard to capture in words out into the world, helping people feel connected to others like them, is about all I could hope for.

So, I’ll keep doing my best to take care of myself so I can take care of others. It’s not a martyrdom, but a motivation. Making someone else feel less alone alleviates my loneliness, too.

Thanks, again.


These roasted artichokes are a simple, sightly side to add to any dinner. They look sophisticated AF on a a dining room table.

Ingredients

4 large artichokes, stems and top 1″ removed
1/4 c fresh lemon juice
1/4 c olive oil
4 garlic cloves, peeled
sea salt, to taste
~3 T Earth Balance butter

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 425° F.
  2. Place artichokes stem-side down in a bowl and separate the leaves slightly with your hands.
  3. Drizzle artichokes with lemon juice and olive oil.
  4. Insert a knife blade into the center of each artichoke and (carefully) wiggle around* until you’ve created a space big enough to push in a garlic clove. Press one garlic clove into the center of each artichoke.
  5. Finally, generously season each artichoke with sea salt.
  6. Tightly wrap each artichoke twice with aluminum foil.
  7. Place foil-wrapped artichokes in a baking dish and bake for an hour and 20 minutes.
  8. Remove from oven and allow artichokes to cool for about ten minutes before carefully removing foil. Then cool further, about another ten minutes, so you don’t burn your friends. Or enemies. Why’d you invite your enemies to dinner?
  9. About ten minutes before serving, melt butter over low in a saucepan before pouring into small bowls for individual dipping.

*”Wiggling a knife around” is a delicate technique I learned at Le Cordon Bleu Paris

lovely

Something I love about this recipe is not only that it’s low-maintenance to prepare, but you then get to pop it into the oven and essentially have an hour and a half to work on other items. I find timing out the preparation for a hosted dinner to be just short of rocket science. Everything should be as warm and fresh as possible, and this recipe makes it all a bit more manageable. After a while your loved ones are gonna be like “Why do we get artichokes every time we have dinner at [Bailey]’s house?” and that’s when you tell them, “Listen up assholes, this is actually my in-laws’ house. And…” (I don’t have the rest if the retort planned out yet). Then bring out the red velvet cake. Which they also always get served at your house.

If you get really into artichoke roasting, there are fancy accoutrements like this butter warmer or these artichoke servers or this artichoke plate, the latter of which I frankly don’t understand but… enjoy!

Serves four.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 8/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: ?/10 He was in NYC and I was in Texas when I made this, but I have a feeling that, with his twelve year old palate, it’d be a solid… 1/10 for Rick.

Adapted from Simply Roasted Artichokes.

Related on Bummed Out Baker: 
Roasted Garlic Lemon Broccoli
Roasted Beets and Sweets
Parmesan Garlic Orzo (Gluten-Free + Vegetarian)


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Chocolate-Filled Shortbread Thumbprint Cookies (Vegetarian)

I was trying to recreate these Trader Joe’s shortbread cookies I love to house. It didn’t go well. :(

Ingredients

2 c flour
1/2 t sea salt
1/2 c cane sugar
3/4 c + 1 T butter, slightly softened
2 T coconut milk
1 t vanilla extract
1/2 t almond extract
1 c chocolate chips
2 T heavy whipping cream
1 T corn syrup
Optional: Sprinkles

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F and line baking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.
  2. Whisk flour and salt together in a medium bowl.
  3. In a stand mixer, add 3/4 c butter and beat on medium until creamy.
  4. Add sugar and mix on medium until incorporated, scraping down sides as needed.
  5. Add vanilla and almond extracts and mix until combined.
  6. On the stand mixer, switch beater attachment to dough paddle. In 2-3 increments, add flour and mix until just combined and dough begins to form. Do not over mix!
  7. Continuing to scrape down sides as needed, add coconut milk and stir on low to combine.
  8. Using a cookie dough scoop, place balls of dough on baking sheet about an inch apart. Make indentations by using the back of a 1/4 t. Press the middle of the ball about halfway down.
  9. Bake for about 12 minutes, taking care not to over-bake. Remove from oven and cool.
  10. While the cookies cool, combine heavy whipping cream, corn syrup, and butter in a saucepan. Heat and stir over medium until steaming. Remove from heat and pour in chocolate chips. Let mixture sit for five minutes without stirring.
  11. Stir chocolate mixture until smooth. If there are still chunks of chocolate, return saucepan to low heat and stir until smooth.
  12. Using a teaspoon, spoon chocolate into each indentation and immediately top with sprinkles. Allow the chocolate to sit until firm.

Will keep 3-5 days in an airtight tupperware. I recommend mailing them to someone you don’t like that much.

Serves 4-6.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 2/10

“They were bad”

me

Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: 7/10

Adapted from Vegan Thumbprint Cookies with Strawberry Jam and Chocolate Thumbprint Cookies.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Sugar Cookies
Super-Easy Snickdoodles
Velvet Crinkle Cookies


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.