Recipe: Roasted Artichokes (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

A post about roasted artichokes is comically banal following last week’s heavy hitter regarding mental illness and homelessness as it pertains to my brother, Alex.

I’d just like to say how grateful I am for the support I received in regards to that last post. It took a full, painful week to write and, with my mental illness-informed workday, I was often hammering at the keys and staring at the screen until three or four in the morning. For me, those are the worst hours. It was arduous and awful.

I often feel lonely, mentally, and trapped in my own head. My brain feels helplessly impermeable. I’m stuck inside of it hating myself and others are stuck outside of it wondering how I could feel that way about their friend, Bailey. For me to be successful in getting something so intimate and hard to capture in words out into the world, helping people feel connected to others like them, is about all I could hope for.

So, I’ll keep doing my best to take care of myself so I can take care of others. It’s not a martyrdom, but a motivation. Making someone else feel less alone alleviates my loneliness, too.

Thanks, again.


These roasted artichokes are a simple, sightly side to add to any dinner. They look sophisticated AF on a a dining room table.

Ingredients

4 large artichokes, stems and top 1″ removed
1/4 c fresh lemon juice
1/4 c olive oil
4 garlic cloves, peeled
sea salt, to taste
~3 T Earth Balance butter

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 425° F.
  2. Place artichokes stem-side down in a bowl and separate the leaves slightly with your hands.
  3. Drizzle artichokes with lemon juice and olive oil.
  4. Insert a knife blade into the center of each artichoke and (carefully) wiggle around* until you’ve created a space big enough to push in a garlic clove. Press one garlic clove into the center of each artichoke.
  5. Finally, generously season each artichoke with sea salt.
  6. Tightly wrap each artichoke twice with aluminum foil.
  7. Place foil-wrapped artichokes in a baking dish and bake for an hour and 20 minutes.
  8. Remove from oven and allow artichokes to cool for about ten minutes before carefully removing foil. Then cool further, about another ten minutes, so you don’t burn your friends. Or enemies. Why’d you invite your enemies to dinner?
  9. About ten minutes before serving, melt butter over low in a saucepan before pouring into small bowls for individual dipping.

*”Wiggling a knife around” is a delicate technique I learned at Le Cordon Bleu Paris

lovely

Something I love about this recipe is not only that it’s low-maintenance to prepare, but you then get to pop it into the oven and essentially have an hour and a half to work on other items. I find timing out the preparation for a hosted dinner to be just short of rocket science. Everything should be as warm and fresh as possible, and this recipe makes it all a bit more manageable. After a while your loved ones are gonna be like “Why do we get artichokes every time we have dinner at [Bailey]’s house?” and that’s when you tell them, “Listen up assholes, this is actually my in-laws’ house. And…” (I don’t have the rest if the retort planned out yet). Then bring out the red velvet cake. Which they also always get served at your house.

If you get really into artichoke roasting, there are fancy accoutrements like this butter warmer or these artichoke servers or this artichoke plate, the latter of which I frankly don’t understand but… enjoy!

Serves four.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 8/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: ?/10 He was in NYC and I was in Texas when I made this, but I have a feeling that, with his twelve year old palate, it’d be a solid… 1/10 for Rick.

Adapted from Simply Roasted Artichokes.

Related on Bummed Out Baker: 
Roasted Garlic Lemon Broccoli
Roasted Beets and Sweets
Parmesan Garlic Orzo (Gluten-Free + Vegetarian)


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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Recipe: Lemonade (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

If you’re bummed out about your long weekend being over, make this lemonade esta noche to cheer yourself up. If you’re catatonically bummed out, add liquor and then look for a new job.

Ingredients

1/2 c lemon juice (~4 large lemons)
1/3 c cane sugar
4 c water
Optional: raspberries or other fruit to garnish, vodka

Instructions

  1. Stir or shake ingredients until well combined.
  2. Pour lemonade over ice and garnish / spike at will.

Keeps for about a week in the fridge and, if you use them, will become more and more pink due to the raspberries.

Serves four.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 8/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: 7.5/10

Adapted from Perfect Summertime Lemonade.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Pumpkin Spice Creamer
Avocado Strawberry Caprese Salad
Roasted Garlic Lemon Broccoli


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Ugly Dip (Gluten-Free + Vegetarian)

My cheerleading squad was super into ugly dip in elementary school. Then, I stopped cheering because turns out I’m 5’9″ and don’t tumble well. It took me like, three years to do a back handspring, so I took my talents to South Beach the court.

scuse me scuse me scuse me

Volleyball. It was actually the volleyball court. And I rode the pine there, too :( I passed notes to my coach down the bench that read “please put me in” and she’d look down at me and laugh and not put me in. And ugly dip was also forgotten!!!

Welp, now that I got that out of my system, onto the recipe! Ain’t nobody got time for a complicated recipe in July in the northern hemisphere, but don’t zone out like I did and put twice as much vinegar, oil, and sugar then the recipe calls for. You’ll still eat it all, but you’ll have to do some dip draining first.

Put together this easy recipe for the 4th of July:

See? Too much liquid. Still outta this world, though

Ingredients

1/4 c apple cider vinegar
1/4 c white sugar
1/4 c olive oil
1 15 oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
10 oz Mexican-style corn
4 oz feta cheese, diced
5 green onions, chopped

Instructions

  1. Whisk vinegar, sugar, and olive oil together in a bowl.
  2. Toss black beans, corn, feta cheese, and green onions together in a separate bowl.
  3. Pour dressing over bean mixture and toss until evenly coated.
  4. Cover and refrigerate dip for one hour before serving.
  5. If you blew it on the measurements, drain the dip and then serve.

Keeps for three days in the refrigerator, aging like a fiiiine wine.

Serves 6-8 as an appetizer.

Bummed Out Bailey Rating: 8/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: 9.5/10

Adapted from Black Bean and Feta Cheese Ugly Dip.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Black Bean and Potato Enchiladas
Cauliflower Queso
Enchilada Soup


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Beet Tartare and Cashew Cheese Dip (Gluten-Free + Vegan)

This recipe takes forever to make, but it’s pretty dang good. If you’ve got some sort of sophisticated home event you need to bring a dish to, consider this.

Ingredients

1 c raw cashews, soaked four hours
2 T fresh lemon juice
1 T coconut oil
1 T miso
2 t nutritional yeast
1 t apple cider vinegar
sea salt, to taste
2-3 tablespoons water, as needed
5 small, prepackaged beets*
1 T balsamic vinegar

*You can buy fresh beets and cook them from scratch, but I found the prepackaged, cooked organic beets to be much easier.

Instructions

  1. After soaking for four hours, drain and rinse cashews.
  2. Place cashews, lemon juice, coconut oil, miso, nutritional yeast, apple cider vinegar, and a pinch of sea salt in a blender. Blend until completely smooth, adding water if necessary.
  3. Transfer cheese to an airtight jar, wrap jar in tea kitchen towel, and let sit overnight.
  4. The next day, preheat oven to 400°F.
  5. Place beets, balsamic vinegar, and another pinch of salt into a food processor. Blend until beets are diced or nearly shredded, not liquified.
  6. Pack cheese into a well-oiled 4″ dish (I used the bottom half of a round glass Tupperware). Do your best to eliminate any air pockets and bake for ten minutes.
  7. Remove from oven and flip onto a plate. The cheese should slide out.
  8. Top with beet tartare and return to the oven for another ten minutes.
  9. Serve warm with your choice of crackers. I chose one of my favorites, Nut Thins.

Serves 8-10 as an appetizer.

Bummed Out Baker Honest Rating: 6/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Honest Rating: 0/10

I took points off due to the recipes high maintenance time, and Rick hates beets, so.

Adapted from Beet Tartare with Cashew Cheese.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Roasted Beets and Sweets
Borscht Topped with Sour Cream


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Recipe: Arugula, Watermelon + Feta Salad (Gluten-Free + Vegetarian)

I suppose it’s the summertime effect, but super simple recipes are prevailing on Bummed Out Baker right now. Enjoy!

Listen to this while you make the salad and, like me, ponder why this guy is stealing bikes when he appears to be old enough to drive.

Ingredients

1/4 c orange juice
1/4 c freshly squeezed lemon juice (about one large lemon)
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 small white onion, minced
1 T honey
1/2 c olive oil
1 t sea salt
1/2 t freshly ground black pepper
6 c baby arugula
1/2 small seedless watermelon, cut in 1″ cubes with rind removed
8 oz feta cheese, diced into 1/2″ cubes
1 c fresh mint leaves, chopped

Instructions

  1. In a large jar, combine orange juice, lemon juice, garlic, onion, honey, sea salt, pepper, and olive oil. Screw on lid and shake dressing until well combined.
  2. In a large salad bowl, gently toss together the arugula, watermelon, feta, and mint.
  3. Pour dressing over salad to your liking and toss. Serve immediately.
Any unused vinaigrette can be stored in the jar and kept in the refrigerator for 2-3 days.

Serves two as a main, four as a side.

Bummed Out Baker Rating: 9/10
Rick-the-Meat-Eater Rating: 9/10

Adapted from Arugula, Watermelon and Feta Salad.

Related on Bummed Out Baker:
Greek Quinoa Salad
Scrambled Eggs with Parmesan and Arugula
Spiced Cauliflower with Feta


Subscribe at the bottom of Bummed Out Baker to get my mental health musings and recipes emailed to you directly – Follow on Facebook for mental health articles and discussion – Follow on Instagram for behind-the-scenes panic attacks and my begrudging, meat-eating husband captured in the wild.

If you or someone you know needs help right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.